I am nothing but an irresponsible gf and student.

Another weekend has come,and i still remembered how much fun i had during last Saturday.
Due to the midterm test of ANTENNA subject,this Saturday i ended up with staying at Cyberjaya and make revision.As a responsible student, i should had made preparation since earlier but everyone knows PPS is a super huge temptation.Nobody could manage to defeat it,either do I. Okey, i understand myself so well. Even there is no such thing like PPS ,i would still wasting my time and doing something meaningless ,just to avoid the truth of making revision.This is a very huge bad habit that i "nurtured" since first year entering university.How bad and dissapointed my parents would feel if they make to know their beloved good daughter is studying loosely in this way.Now,i am already a fourth year student in uni.And everything should become has made in their own way already.I believe that people like me couldn't change the attitude anymore,unless the day of karma come.and that will be the time i pay for the lazyness i have been in these few years. In the way im being a bad student in pursuing knowledge, i always know the limit and make out a way just to achieve a better result in order to graduate smoothly.

Here we go to mention about relationship,YES,is my relationship.and maybe,none of you would be interested. but please ,bear with me again,with the negative post.
You and I,we all know that falling in love is awesome,falling in love is sweet,falling in love is everything about wonderful.
and you and I,we all know that when time passes, the passion of love would be fading, because time brought away the feeling,the everything of our first-times.and the truth of reality always comes first in consideration,compare with love. Loving someone is great,but when we are growing up, its so cruel to know that having a good relationship is for someone who are in good financial status. Alot of us may not trust it,and think what i said abt " financial status is relatedly manipulates a relationship" is totally a bullshit. Even myself,i hope what i said is bull shit. but we will see it in future,and me,will see it soon.
I really really feel bad that, i am not the sweet girl like u seen me at first time,anymore.yeah i do agree it. Im like a motherly gf all the time. Im not romantic at all.i am always being worry of everything like a mother and even a granny do.u know wat,its kinda sarcastic when ur bf nvr complain about your bad habit and attitude ,while you yourself know how poor u perform as a gf.not only that,u still want to be stubborn and keep going with your relationship-destroying habits. and told yourself that because you fell out of love, you lost the passion of love,you lost the patient towards him/her.
I realized that, the problems actually popped out almost one year ago,and i just remembered at that time,we always argued started from end of last year,and luckily in the end,we made up together.
However, it is so bad to find out that, problems between us has never been solved,because it is all my fault.I lied to myself,i thought the problem has gone away if i tell myself it will be gone. It is just the matter of time. I told him time can helps me to think over it,but wat i did is living life like nothing happen.
One year has gone and i wasted it. It's time to puzzle up everything and make it right. Because, i hope to see a good relationship between you and me,in next year.Sorry for making everything too late.Don't worry,everything is still the same.It is just something from inside Please forgive me of being such a FAIL gf.
I know im fat,ugly,oily,disgusting,rude and selfish, all about a depreaciation property. I know i never contribute and create happiness in our relationship, and replace it with anger, argue, complaints,sarcasm ,since long ago.
Figuring out to appreciate and find out the FEELING is my main task.i know you always with me.

p/s: gotta gear up myself in everything.otherwise,i will be the most useless rubbish on the earth.

nite,people!